My head is full of swirling thoughts. That is pretty typical of my head. I once told a friend that I do not have a one track mind. I have nearly a dozen tracks, most of them occupied with a train of thought. My mind jumps from one track to another while the trains are barreling along full steam ahead.
There are so many things that want to rush out of my fingers, to be formed into words and committed to this post.
I am also listening to my children breathe. They are both just congested enough that their noses are loud as they sleep. Onen is breathing just slightly faster so that every 5th breath or so is in time with Tia’s.
You may wonder how I can watch the fire and listen to sleeping persons while sitting at the dining room table. If you have ever seen my house you wouldn’t wonder. It is 24X28 and has 4 tiny rooms.
This is a picture of our living room. It is only half dry-walled. Onen sleeps in the crib behind the couch. The door leads into the bedroom where Tia is. I am siting at the table and the fire is just out of view on the left. Tiny. Unfinished. But I got it at an auction for next to nothing and it has kept me warm and dry for nearly 7 years now.
Sometimes I struggle finding a balance between wanting something bigger, with nicely painted walls and a shower and being okay with where I am in life. Contentment and apathy can be pretty similar in me. Perhaps I should be more ambitious. Perhaps ambition requires more focus than I care to maintain.